Yeah we’ve all been played with, or teased online and it’s somehow amusing to me when I see it reflected in another’s profile. Profiles are interesting to me. It’s interesting when I see someone set out a laundry list of what they’ll have and what they won’t. It’s like the fairy tale expectation that someone tall, dark, and handsome is going to kick down their door and whisk them away to some promised land of devotion and carnal pleasures. Thing is that in revealing yourself to so much of what you want, you leave yourself exposed to what you don’t.
Think of it like the epic trilogy of Oedipus the King by Sophocles. The story in itself is very good, though by way of Freud it’s been given a perverse tone not worth exploring. For many reasons I wonder if Freud even ever read the story because a grown man sexing his mother is not what the story was about. What it is about is that in our attempting to avoid fate, we end up neck deep in it. I’ll paraphrase the story so forgive me for what I omit.
Oedipus was born the son of a king who ordered the infant Oedipus be executed after it was prophesized that Oedipus would later kill him and marry the queen. Of course the people given the job fail and passed the task until the infant ended up in the care of a neighboring monarchy who raised Oedipus as their own. As the child grew, young Oedipus came to suspect his being adopted and sought his own prophecy.
As the story goes, the prophet, Tiresias repeats the earlier prophecy, yet makes no mention of his dad’s identity. Oedipus was a bit more about the content of this new information than what he’d been asking to begin with, and in his denial and attempt to distance himself, runs away to a neighboring kingdom whereupon he is nearly run down by a chariot when crossing a road. Words are exchanged and Oedipus beats the driver to death. Later in town he hears word that the king has been murdered and he decides to fess up to his deed. On entering the king’s court though he is quite taken by the queen’s beauty and decides to play it out, and later hooks up with her.
Things are going great for Oedipus: he avoided killing his dad; he got away with murder; he’s got a hot wife; and his own kingdom. Then he starts hearing rumors about this child the king had sent away and is at first concerned that the kid may return to claim his birthright. Long story made short: through a series of revelations, Oedipus finds that he is in fact that child and in his unwillingness to confront issues, he has fulfilled both prophecies. Quite well too, I think he even got a few kids from it. In his literal horror, Oedipus gouges out his own eyes and leaves to wander the land so he may never have to again look upon the results of his deeds.
Now like I said, in your aversion, you may well end up neck deep in what you’re actively seeking to avoid, and with that I offer the following advice: confront your demons. What’s the source of you aversion and does it justify that all X equals Y? Or for that matter that all exes equal XX or XY? I think we’d all do better not to justify the acts of one as being indicative of the whole, and consider that in this world, there are some people who are just that messed up.
Certainly I’ve had a few exes who have made me want to shut the door and label their kind another species, or as pop-psych guru John Gray labeled them, as being from another planet. Really all it has done though, and all it should ever do, is make me examine what it was I was seeking to begin with.
Think of it like the epic trilogy of Oedipus the King by Sophocles. The story in itself is very good, though by way of Freud it’s been given a perverse tone not worth exploring. For many reasons I wonder if Freud even ever read the story because a grown man sexing his mother is not what the story was about. What it is about is that in our attempting to avoid fate, we end up neck deep in it. I’ll paraphrase the story so forgive me for what I omit.
Oedipus was born the son of a king who ordered the infant Oedipus be executed after it was prophesized that Oedipus would later kill him and marry the queen. Of course the people given the job fail and passed the task until the infant ended up in the care of a neighboring monarchy who raised Oedipus as their own. As the child grew, young Oedipus came to suspect his being adopted and sought his own prophecy.
As the story goes, the prophet, Tiresias repeats the earlier prophecy, yet makes no mention of his dad’s identity. Oedipus was a bit more about the content of this new information than what he’d been asking to begin with, and in his denial and attempt to distance himself, runs away to a neighboring kingdom whereupon he is nearly run down by a chariot when crossing a road. Words are exchanged and Oedipus beats the driver to death. Later in town he hears word that the king has been murdered and he decides to fess up to his deed. On entering the king’s court though he is quite taken by the queen’s beauty and decides to play it out, and later hooks up with her.
Things are going great for Oedipus: he avoided killing his dad; he got away with murder; he’s got a hot wife; and his own kingdom. Then he starts hearing rumors about this child the king had sent away and is at first concerned that the kid may return to claim his birthright. Long story made short: through a series of revelations, Oedipus finds that he is in fact that child and in his unwillingness to confront issues, he has fulfilled both prophecies. Quite well too, I think he even got a few kids from it. In his literal horror, Oedipus gouges out his own eyes and leaves to wander the land so he may never have to again look upon the results of his deeds.
Now like I said, in your aversion, you may well end up neck deep in what you’re actively seeking to avoid, and with that I offer the following advice: confront your demons. What’s the source of you aversion and does it justify that all X equals Y? Or for that matter that all exes equal XX or XY? I think we’d all do better not to justify the acts of one as being indicative of the whole, and consider that in this world, there are some people who are just that messed up.
Certainly I’ve had a few exes who have made me want to shut the door and label their kind another species, or as pop-psych guru John Gray labeled them, as being from another planet. Really all it has done though, and all it should ever do, is make me examine what it was I was seeking to begin with.
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